He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I enjoy the company of your penis
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
