We're facebook friends in real life
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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