I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I cut my penus on the lid.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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