I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
