Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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