I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
