Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We have so much sex to catch up on
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
