What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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