I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
