He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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