I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
