I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
