they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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