Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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