Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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