Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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