When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize