how can u be prego again
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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