...so i touched it.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
