great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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