I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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