Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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