You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
