Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
