Non-Jews are for practice
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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