The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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