Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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