I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
