Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize