It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
