Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize