god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
