Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize