Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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