Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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