We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
