don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
