he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You ruined the universe
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
