bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
