carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
