Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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