There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
