...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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