4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So vagazzling was a success
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
