ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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