You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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