Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
