I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
