This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Randomize
