Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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