So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
