The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
