Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
