somebody snuck up and got me drunk
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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