I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This house was built for laser tag.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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