I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
