I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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