I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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