All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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