On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
you had me at cake vodka
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
