I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You are the jesus of drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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