whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
