You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
