I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
