break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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