after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
