3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
