I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
