I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
