I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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