I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
