So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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