Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i've created a new STD.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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