I just made out with a guy for $7.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
