She said her name was "party"
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
